The pain of a broken heart is different for each person. So how do you deal with a heartbreak? Most especially, how do you deal with a devastating and traumatic heartbreak?

Even if you have let go (or violently thrown away) all physical evidences (gifts, mementos from dates or travels, “just because” items) you shared or received from your ex, you will not be able to erase the memories that easily. And most of the time, even if you want to forget all of them, snippets of your time together will sneak up on you on times you most want to forget them.

Avoid avoiding

If you keep avoiding the memories, pretending they never happened, they will keep popping up. And they will play with your mind and heart even more. Acknowledge that they did happen, even if it makes you very sad.

You may experience some sort of withdrawal syndrome

Pain and grief will be there. Also sadness and depression. Then there may also be a start of self-doubt Questions such as “Am I not worthy?” “Am I ugly?” “Am I not enough for them?” may arise. There may be times you would not want to wake up or would not want to go out. You may not have the appetite to eat (or on the contrary, you may indulge in overeating). You may develop insomnia or weird patterns of sleeping, too much stress, and other physical discomfort that may stem from your heart or your gut.

Take care of yourself

Major depression may set in when you are bombarded with memories you know you will never have again with your ex. And while you are encouraged to feel the pain and the sadness, do not forget to take care of yourself. Do stuff that interests you—alone. Do not go back to the stuff that you both did when you were still together. Find new things that would be your own so you can create memories of yourself enjoying…alone.

Find stuff that would make you feel good without thinking about them, that they would have liked those stuff too. Just first focus on what you want, what you need, and what makes you feel better. There is no time limit for your pain over your heartbreak. Your healing will depend on you, so don’t rush it.

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