In the context of romantic love, a broken heart can be devastating not only to the heart but also to the mind and to the body, physically. Depending on the breakup, one party will be left asking questions like “Why is this happening to me?” “Am I not enough for him/her?” “Where did I go wrong?” or “What did I do wrong?” While it is difficult to do, the first step to healing is acceptance that this breakup indeed happened.

Flee or fight

In the five stages of grief, the first stage is denial—justifiable in the early stages of grief. But the choice is always up to you if you keep being in denial or if you want to get away from the devastating feeling and move on.

Be kind to yourself

Should you decide to move forward, you would understandably want to explore things and feelings that would make you feel better? At first you may feel guilty, that you think you do not deserve to be happy again. Or maybe you would think that your ex would surely love to be experiencing the new things you are trying. Stop! It is not selfishness if you want to feel good about yourself. It is not selfishness if you want to go after the things that would make you happy and giddy and alive once again.

Change your perspective

For quite a while, you have been seeing things in world as part of a pair. It would be helpful to remind yourself that you are doing this for you alone. You will discover more and learn more for yourself without considering what your partner would have to think about these new experiences.

Remove any thought of revenge

If start doing things to make you feel and look better (maybe you decided to try on a new hairstyle, the one that your partner may not have approved of), do not think about what your ex would think or if they would find you more attractive now than before you changed your look.  


You do not know what the future holds. You may fall in love again with someone else. But at the moment, the one who needs love most is yourself. And you are the only one that could give yourself the love you need and deserve.

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