Cheating as the cause for broken relationship is nothing new. It may as well be the foremost cause of breakups in the history of romantic relationships. Asking for—and granting—a second chance in the relationship after the cheating event is nothing new either. Some forgive easily, others do not. Some forgive and forget, some do not forget.

Second chance at love, but not necessarily at trust

It is true that some people forgive their partners who cheated easily because they love them. Although it is questionable if love alone will make the relationship work. Some others make their partners work for the trust that was lost during the cheating event. A simple “I will not do it again, I promise” does not count. Or does it?

Do what works but do not ignore the red flags

The cheating event may be a simple case of bad judgment on one partner that is why a second chance may not be difficult to grant to them. The partner who got cheated on may be the “forgive, forget, and move on” type, but it would be in their best interest not to ignore the warning.

Being cheated on does not give one the right to watch their partner like a hawk. This situation actually spells, “Sure, I’ll give you a second chance, but I don’t think I’ll be able to trust you again, so I will keep an eye on you…all the time.”

Communicate and assess where you both stand

You may want to check on where you stand with your partner before you knew of the cheating event. Were you more of a provider and not a partner? If so, is your partner coming back to you because they couldn’t afford to lose their source? The cheating event should be a pit stop so you can reflect on the status of your relationship. Check if you have been giving and giving and your partner has been taking and taking. You may not see a problem with that because it is your belief that you give your all when you love. But you may want to take a step back and realize that maybe your partner does not really want to be a partner in every sense of the word.

Trust your gut when it comes to trusting your partner after cheating. Remember, there’s a saying that goes, “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.”

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